My First Birth As a Photographer!
Read the Story....
The Birth of Baby Cohen. Happy Birthday Co &
Thank you to my friend B, for all of your support and for giving me permission to share this part of my story!
Today marks the 3rd anniversary of the very first time I walked into a birth space with a camera in hand. It was the first of only 2 births I attended in 2020.
I may be a little biased, but i feel like my journey to becoming a birth photographer has been a little extra wonky to say the least and The story i'm about to tell is a perfect example!
I was so early in my journey and knew that being a birth photographer was what I was created to do… but I was nervous, afraid and had to work my full time job to pay bills! It’s really difficult to balance a career as a birth worker and have a strict schedule!
Luckily I had a sweet friend that was expecting and willing to let me be there! She trusted me enough to be the first birth I ever captured! How amazing is that?
I just wanted sooooon badly to be in the room. To have a chance to do this epic job! To capture amazing photos of something so sacred and special!
I literally couldn’t believe she wanted me there and I was so excited!!! I planned to document her birth for free as long as it did not conflict with my actual job and I was just so hopeful that everything would work out!!
I remember how anxious and just crazy excited I was all day as she labored until I could finally join her at the hospital! If I remember correctly, I arrived at the hospital around dinner time or so. She had two support people there with her, her husband and his mom. I knew them of course because we were friends. But this was different. The birth space is a world all its own, and you get to see such a tenderness about people that you wouldn’t normally get to see. I remember her MIL using tennis balls to rub on her lower back and just how amazing she was in supporting my friend. She was the perfect mama doula! She was so hands on and you could see how much love they had for each other.
I remember being so proud of her husband and how attentive and engaged he was.. He was right there in her bubble every moment. (again this is a side of him i wouldn't have normally seen)
I remember how she looked so beautiful, even in the thick of it. In the ebbs and flows of labor, she was still so dang beautiful.
It’s always hard to watch others struggle, no matter how much you trust the process of birth , and love the beauty that it holds, it's still not fun to watch anyone hurt, to see them go beyond even what they think they can handle.
I remember the way it wrecked me when she called her dad on the phone just because she needed his comfort, she needed to hear his voice, to hear him say i love you. I literally cried with her at that moment. She probably didn't know that until now!
As she continued to labor into the night, we were all so tired. She had been laboring all day, and was working so hard! I remember dozing off and trying to sleep on the floor of her hospital room. I felt so silly and wondered if I was the only failure of a birth photographer to be so tired that I was willing to sleep on the floor. After she received an epidural, she experienced a few complications particularly with her blood pressure and i won’t lie i was freaking out!! As I tried to sleep I would listen to the sound of the machines and startle awake at the smallest variations.
After we had all gotten the little bit of rest that we could, morning was upon us and my friend was facing the hard decision she had hoped to avoid. After a 24 hour attempt for a VBAC, her doctor was heading in to discuss the possibility of a cesarean. I knew exactly what time I would have to leave the hospital in order to make it to work on time and unfortunately, my countdown was down to just minutes. As I was leaving, I passed her doctor in the hallway as she was heading in to start prep for the c-section.
I was so disappointed at that moment. Actually, I was crushed. I was this close to capturing my very first birth and missed it by what seemed like just hair.
I was in no way disappointed with my friend. I knew how badly she wanted a VBAC, and I knew she was hurting. I was beyond grateful that she was even willing to let me try! I was hooked!! I knew this was my calling! I had no idea how I was gonna get here, but I knew it would happen!
Since I missed the actual birth, and because I was portfolio building like crazy... my friend allowed me to come back and do a fresh 48 session too!
I am beyond grateful to be where i am now and to officially feel like I can call myself a birth photographer!
Thank YOU for believing in me and me supporting me along the way!